to infinity and beyond

Wednesday, November 22, 2006' 11/22/2006 12:34:00 AM

I'm officially fucking broke.
Pardon the vulgarity but i'm rather upset right now.
Time and time again, i remind myself that prom is only one night,
yet, I spent 70+ freaking bucks today on shoes and shrug.
I seriously cant believe i bought the shrug for 30 bucks and
the shoes for 40. Both of which i fucking regret buying.
Well actually, its not that i hate it, i just fear the feeling of regret.
Every time i buy something, it'll be my fate to find another at a cheaper
more reasonable price. Like the shrug i bought, i saw one for $16 at bugis, after i bought
the one for $30 at far east plaza. If only my eyes could censor the shrugs so that i couldnt see them.
To further aggravate the matter, i went home to try it on
with my dress and new shoes, only to realise that they are the world's worst mismatch.

I cant find any better reason to why i keep regretting things.
I know that its part and parcel of shopping that you cant always get what you want at the
price you want, but sometimes, i wonder if such an error can be avoided?
This is why one always needs a shopaholic around to guide one along throughout the whole
experience of shopping at shopping galores. Why? Simply because they know where to find good
and quality things, at reasonable and affordable prices. However, not all shopaholics are
wise or well equipt with knwoledge about shopping. So there's always a need to know a shopaholic well enough to allow him or her be the guide for the day.
This may sound very touristy but it makes sense doesnt it?
Always have one who knows every nook and cranny of Singapore's shopping galores.
This is the lesson i've learnt today. I must be really lacking in common sense to just realise this now.
I probably already realised it long ago but today acted as a recap.
Neither me nor my cousin knows where to find cheap and good goods.

I'm heading there again tomorrow to ask for an exchange for the shrug.
Black was such a wrong colour. I dont think white would be a good idea either.
Since the item is not refundable, i might as well get something that would match the gold shoes.
I realise, shopping is the eighth deadly sin for a person who has money but is reluctant to spend.
Someone like me, finds it difficult to hand the money over to the cashier when buying things.
What more, i was so fickle minded that making choices suddenly seemed impossible.
The worst of combinations for a person who's shopping is a thrifty/stingy
and fickle one who will then resort to
clearing her conscience of "i feel bad spending so much money" by immidiately getting rid of the problem, and that is, to just fucking buy the stuff regardless of how much it is and be happy with it.
This of course does not help in any way. It is infact sinful as money has just been wasted, and conscience of course, was never cleared. Oh how horrible i feel right now.

My sister says my shoes look very KTV nyonya shoes, and the shrug was just too overpriced.
In other words, i wasted 70 bucks just like that.
I feel so bad right now, i'm drowning in guilt.
I will honestly not spend anymore money after prom for non beneficial stuff.
I need a job, i seriously do.
I'm beginning to dislike preperations for prom.