to infinity and beyond

Sunday, June 17, 2007' 6/17/2007 03:42:00 PM

Maybe it's God's form of punishment for me, to make me regret all the prayers i've missed and make me realise, there's more to praying than just movements. To make me thank him more for what i've been given instead of cursing fate for what i don't have.

I have rashes all over, including my face. How bad can things get? Real bad. When rashes start to appear on the nose, you know life's going to be hell for the next few days or so.

Ironic that I said 'hell'. Maybe it really is God's infernal punishment for me. My ears feel like they have lighted matches constantly beside them.

Only in times like these, i remember God more. I pray to Him for recovery and I ask Him for forgiveness. I'm still going to miss prayers today due to some specific female reasons.

My conscience keeps reminding me of the importance of prayer but somehow, there's always the negative side of me that promises myself I will start praying tomorrow. I procrastinate most of the time. Then again, as melodramatic or cheesy as this may sound, what if tomorrow never comes? It's time i repent. But when will i start?

My sister said something to me yesterday which made me realise that I'm not alone.
She said, people fall sick all the time. Just be strong. Of course at first I thought, for people like me, isnt that an understatement?

And then i realise, I should just accept it, embrace it and live with it. Whatever IT may be.
I will survive!