to infinity and beyond

Thursday, May 29, 2008' 5/29/2008 01:01:00 PM

Went out to find materials early morning with liy yesterday.
Had my long awaited mcDonalds breakfast, mmm..
Went to Spotlight to find the sample threads i needed, still cant believe how expensive they were down there. Will need to head down to beach road and arab street to find cheaper ones, hopefully.

I love walking around in shopping centres in the wee hours of the morning.
Felt as though we owned the place, had the whole centre to ourselves, and a bunch of other people.
That said, window shopping was made extraordinarily painful with the GSS going on.
Bad enough to not have cash in hand, even more agonizing to walk through a sale with an extremely tight budget.

Went to school for Art after that.
Art is draining me of my time. The worst and best subject i ever took really. Its amazing how tough the subject can be. Measurements, vision, time management, it truely is an all round education. Artists are right brainers? I beg to differ. We exercise both sides at all times.

I'm about to reach the peak. This is when the tough really has got to get going.

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I think it's true that having too much only makes you want more.
I once read somewhere that we have to learn to flirt with the art of deprivation to attain satisfaction.
At times i feel like i'm too deprived of too many things and opportunities, but on second thought, could it be that i no longer feel satisfied from the simplest of things because i already have everything i ever needed?

My life feels complete with all my material needs(most wants included) satisfied. No matter how cliche this may sound, i honestly really feel some things are lacking.

My mom does extra unpaid hours of work everyday, coming home late to nag and claim that she has no time. Notice the irony? My Dad no longer likes to spend time at home. My brother treats the house like a hotel. My sister seems to be having the time of her life overseas and independent. My weekends are spent having to bear with the usual bickerings over my Dad's unrequited and undying love for Pasar di Geylang and my Mom's anguish over the affair. It feels like all the rush hour of day-to-day living has robbed me of the most important thing my family once had, closeness.

I fear weekends like those spent at Marina Bay to fly kites and throw paper planes will never come into our lives again now that everyone's grown up and heading in different directions.

My busy days have robbed me of my of time with the closest of friends. I honestly do miss the people who seem to have totally disappeared from my list of life events.
My minutes are spent thinking about the next wise step to take to achieve more, to fill the gap.
Somehow, I cant quite put my finger on where the gap lies.

I'm still searching for quality in my life.