my heart melts



ps; feels good to be part of something, and i miss that feeling, i want to do more in what i do best, so very badly, but i can't seem to find somewhere to start, and time doesn't stop for me, and i don't want to waste my youth, achieving nothing, i peaked too soon as an overachiever back then, and now i'm not contented with mediocrity, and i'm feeling left behind in this overly competitive world, i want to be a doctor who saves lives, but realistically speaking that's not possible, but i could save lives in my field of work, i wish my brain would work faster and smarter to find ways to solve more problems efficiently, i wish that witty idea would just come out of me, but no matter how much creative brain juice i squeeze, all i get are mere doodles and scribbles, nothing more than just thoughts penned down on scrap papers, nothing worth working on, and here i go, rambling on and on, all over again.