I can't wait for this to come,
to look back and realize that it (the depth of shit I'm going through right now) was all worth it,
and when that day comes, I'll be sure to hire a mahaguru photographer to capture every moment of it in full blown awesomeness.

As of now, all is on the low, including my morale, and I feel like a plankton trying to survive in this very vast ocean, waiting to be eaten alive. A plankton, a micro organism, anything small and drifting afloat aimlessly really.
It's this helplessness that's killing me, the constant thirst for more and the dissatisfaction. 
I don't wish to look back and see a life devoid of achievements, be it academically or beyond that.
I thrive on compliments and I haven't been getting many lately because I'm back to square one now.
It's hard, but I guess when that day comes for me to throw my hat in the air with that paper in my hand, it's looking back on this feeling of being a small plankton, that will make the sky on that day seem a little more blue and the day slightly more sunny than any other - knowing the struggle I had to go through, grinning and amused by the thought of all the hurls and tantrums I threw, realizing that it was a worthwhile experience, having pulled through all of that and having done what I do best.

And you told me to take one step at a time,
I shall do so my dear ;) gladly lugging my heavy bag day in day out,
filled with black notebook, my sketchpad and pencils, and my heart in it as well.

ps; birthday post is way overdue, might as well post this year's next year when I turn another year older